May 8, 2018
Dr. Patricia Vickers, Director, Mental Wellness, FNHA
Patricia with her first child.
Becoming a mother was a pivotal point in my life, and though it took much healing, Mother’s Day holds greater significance of freedom and gratitude for me today.
When I went for treatment in my mid-thirties I came to understand how abuse and neglect are patterns of unintentional conditioning in parenting. I began to connect the bits and pieces of my life and to follow how a mother, regardless of the heart that wants freedom to love unrestrained, can struggle with perpetuating rage, abuse and neglect on her precious children. My children were a part of my treatment program during family week—where they learned the basics of my treatment program in five days.
Since then, I’ve discovered healing from intergenerational trauma is first about learning of the impact on the brain and nervous system and how I learned to respond to threat through defensive patterns, how these defensive patterns were a way to survive repeated acts of violence in childhood.
Today, I can look back with understanding and empathy for my mother and myself, and the unintentional passing on to our children. I celebrate the wonderful ways in which my children, who were the catalyst for my healing, are bringing the healing ways into raising their own children.
Follow along until May 13, as we share personal reflections from FNHA staff on what Mother’s Day means to them, and how they’ve healed from feelings of pain or isolation related to motherhood. We’ll be sharing all pieces together on Mother’s Day, May 13. Read the intro here.