Family Day (Feb. 17) is an opportunity to spend time with loved ones and reflect on how much they matter in our lives. For this Family Day, the First Nations Health Authority invited Youth Peer worker Leaf Turrell (they/them), 24, and their father Darcy Turrell, 59, to speak about how substance use impacted their family and the healing journey that brought them closer together.

When Leaf was young, going to the methadone clinic with their dad, Darcy, was a normal part of the week. The two would walk together to pick up their dad's medicine, something that the child knew was very important.

“I knew that without his meds, he got very, very sick," said Leaf. “It wasn't until I was a lot older, like, probably closer to 10, 11, that I really understood what the methadone was for."

If this kind of story sounds surprising to people, it's probably because substance use, and more importantly, the medication that helps people on their healing journeys, is still deeply stigmatized. Having conversations around substance use—even with close family members—can be difficult. But for Leaf and Darcy, they kept those lines of communications open.

“I think the reason why dad never really hid it from me is because dad never really wanted to lie to me," said Leaf. “He always wanted to be as open as he could be. And I'm so thankful that he was open, because later on in my teenage years, there were some things that happened that I was terrified to talk to my grandma or like my godfather about, but I always knew I could talk to dad."

Like so many people with lived or living experience of substance use, Darcy began using substances for a variety of reasons. Part of it was because he hurt his leg badly in an accident and began taking prescription medication to handle the pain. But the deeper pain was from a family breakup with his first wife.

“It split our family right in half, really," recalls Darcy. “And for me, I had a really hard time for a couple of years after that going through it."

Darcy moved from Victoria to Fort Nelson to start a new life, where he met Leaf's mother. But his substance use got worse and led him into a “dark period" of his life. After Leaf was born, he decided to reach out for help.

“Because I was having a baby and being a single father, I didn't want to do drugs," said Darcy. “I wanted to get away from them so I could be a better person and a better father."

Darcy's doctor prescribed him with methadone, a type of Opioid Agonist Therapy (OAT) that works to treat people who are addicted to opiates by producing similar effects in the brain and preventing withdrawal symptoms in people who stop using opiates. OAT has been shown to improve people who use substances with their day-to-day functioning, find stability, and work toward recovery.

Unfortunately, many people still don't know what methadone is, even though it's prescribed by doctors and nurses.

“They call you junkie all the time," said Darcy. “Even though you don't get high from methadone. But the general population seems to think you do."

Darcy said methadone motivated him to change his life and take care of Leaf as a single father. He said it also helped him to stop using substances where he'd get “stuck in that grief" from his past experiences.

Learning from their dad's healing journey has had a big influence on the direction of Leaf, who now speaks openly about substance use and healing and wants to tear down the stigma surrounding those conversations.

“That's the reason that I do the work that I do is because dad always taught me telling your story might be able to help other people," said Leaf. “All I want to really do is be able to help others and make things easier. […] And I'm really thankful for dad because without him, I might be a whole different person."

Leaf said that some of the harshest critics can be your own family members, who might not want to talk about the substance use of somebody in the family or might feel shame from it.

“You should never tear down family members because they're trying to get better, because you wouldn't do the same to someone who's on chemo, would you? All dad's trying to do is live and be safe about his life."

So, how should you support family members who might use substances? The main thing, said Darcy, is to never give up on them.

“Don't give up the fight," he said. “Because if you keep fighting, that person will keep trying, even if it's just for one day. They made it through that day, right? If they give up, then the other person gives up and then they've lost everything that they tried to gain."

Leaf is quick to chime in that those conversations aren't always going to be “sunshine and roses."

“There are going to be hard times. There's going to be times where both of you have doubts. But you know what? Stick through it. Keep going. Don't give up."

The most important thing, said Leaf, is to go into the conversation with “listening ears and open heart" and be ready for an uncomfortable conversation. There will often be emotions and anger, which is natural when you care about somebody and can't understand why they're using substances. But Darcy said that support makes all the difference.

“It was because of [Leaf] that I did keep going forward," he said. “[Leaf's] faith in me, it means the hope to keep going. Sometimes it really helps to have that support because without it, I would have had nobody."

Harm reduction principles at the FNHA are founded in the belief that all paths lead to wellness. No two people have the same views or experiences on their unique wellness journeys. By fully accepting and meeting people who use substances where they are at, we can reduce the shame and stigma that harms or prevents people from having important conversations about this topic.

Having conversations with family members about substance use takes a lot of courage. If you'd like to learn more, please read our Courageous Conversations toolkit here. We would also like to thank Leaf and Darcy for sharing their personal and courageous stories.

If you're seeking substance use support, please speak to your primary care provider or set up an appoint with the First Nations Virtual Doctor of the Day Service. You may be referred to the First Nations Virtual Substance Use and Psychiatry Service to be put in touch with specialists in addictions medicine. You can also access services through helpstartshere.gov.bc.ca.​